Confessions Pt. 4

Hearts never ever break even, I wish they did. These are the Confessions of a Broken-hearted Girl.

My heart seems to break over, and over again. I mean like, always. Empty. Shattered. Numb.

It's crazy, you know. Living life repeatedly being broken. Realizing that you have to always fix what someone else broke.

So, what are my confessions?

I love too hard. Seriously. Not that this is necessarily a terrible thing because I want to love without restraint but I don't want to kill myself. I don't want to love so hard that I am blinded and the love becomes one sided. I have so much love to give and that is indeed important for me to do. However, I want to grow into loving the correct way.

Repeat offenders. When I love you, it's easy for me to want to try to make amends. This is not always the best thing. I think in my life I have ALLOWED too many people too many chances. And when people know you love them, they take advantage of that good thing and make it sour. It's always the same people doing the same things.

I wish I'd loosen my expectations. I honestly expect too much from some people. I get in the habit of thinking just because I treat someone good they'll reciprocate that. And, that's when my feelings get crushed.

I am not as strong as people would like to believe. Some days, I'm barely holding back tears. I've put my heart in positions to be broken so many times that I'm having to cleanse it. I have days that are far better than others. Sometimes, I cry at the mere thought of a person or incident. 

I have to learn limits, take responsibility for myself. Heal my heart.

There is a plus, I've learned where my help comes from. The word reminds me that when I am weak, that's when he's strong and he draws nigh to a broken heart. So I have learned, it is not my strength during the test but my willingness to get through the test. That'll heal a heart.

Signed, Broken-hearted